Spring Semester 2011

Spring semester has begun without any hitch. So far. I'm taking Organic and Biochem, College Algebra, and Personal Nutrition. A full load according to the COT. And trust me, 11 credits on top of working and having a 8 month old is more than enough thank you. I'll only have my A&P classes and Stats after this. I'm excited for this semester to get going. I'm so close to nursing school I can taste it. Which means I'm that much closer to beginning my career. I'm excited and anxious but so, so ready. Being a nurse is what I've always dreamed of. Being one of those people that others go to at their most venerable moments. Not to take advantage of them, but to make everything better. So to speak. To be one of the "rocks" in their lives for the time being.

I do however have a rant I need to get out of my system before I explode. I'm normally a very happy, optimistic, supportive person. But I hate, hate, hate two faced, back stabbing people who think nothing is more important than themselves and their lives. I don't mind sharing the spotlight. In fact, I don't like to be in it alone. But do not shove me out when I am in it, which isn't often. For example, what makes anyone elses pregnancy more important or special than mine was? Do you get the picture? We are not 12 year old competing for the families attention. I am a mature, 26 year old woman, mother, and wife. I will not play your little game of "Who's more important/fight for the spotlight?". People are over it. Its not at the fore front of their minds like you think so quit flaunting it. No I didn't have maternity photographs take, my husband happened to be deployed for the whole pregnancy. Oh its really that big of a deal? To you maybe, but to me? I'll live. So please quit trying to make me feel guilty or some how not sentimental about my pregnancy. If being in the spotlight is so damn important to you, please by all means pitch a tent in it. But mark my words, people will get sick of you. I am but the first of many. Which is sad because I want to be genuinely happy for you, but when its been a non-stop topic for the last 38 weeks. Well forgive me if I'm not jumping for joy anymore. Can you not talk about anything else to me besides your pregnancy??

Ok, sorry. I've been penting that up inside myself for months now. And a person can hold it in only so long...... I hate bi*ching like this, but a person can only take the beating so long with out saying something. I figured this was a more "non-rocking-the-boat" way. In closing, I leave you with the latest picture of my main man and all his handsomeness. : )

A testament.

And this ladies and gents is why I love living in beautiful Montana. This is the view from my back porch believe it or not.

You just can't fake this.

Whats a mom to do?

So, Carsen has been out at his Gramp's and Mamae's house this WHOLE weekend. I don't think I need to say that I had no idea what to do with myself, but I will for effect. I have really been walking in circles the whole time. I'll do a chore of some sort, then wander around the house for a while feeling like I should be changing a diaper, or singing Toddler Tunes, or feeding someone, or playing silly games. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the much needed "me" time that this allows for. But he is my baby and no one knows how to take care of him like I do..... I know that he is in perfectly capable hands and being wonderfully taken care of. But not by me. That's the point. I just miss him. I wanna kiss his chubby little cheeks and see his sweet little smile when I make a fool of myself for his benefit. If I'm not being Carsen's mommy, then who am I?

That's a concept I've been struggling with a bit for a little while. I know who I was before Carsen. I was a student-and employee-a fun-loving- in-killer-shape-beer-drinkin-jitter-buggin-all day and most of the night, gal. I remember going out with Archie some nights and not getting back in until 1 or 2 in the morning but being able to sleep for a few hours and rise and shine at 4 am to be at work by 5. I'd just hook up to an I.V drip of espresso. Kidding. I was fully within my physical capabilities to do that. And to top it off I'd go straight to the gym after working a full day to run 6 or 8 miles and lift weights. I was superwoman I tell ya. I even managed to keep straight A's in my classes.

I am nowstill some of those things. I'm still Jess the student-employee. But now, I'm Jess-Carsen's Mommy. A title I will never give up nor deny. I love, love, love being a mom. Its the essence of my life. Seeing his little cherub face first thing in the morning and the last thing I see at night gives me more happiness than you'll ever know. I mean, I GREW him in my TUMMY. And then I GAVE BIRTH to HIM. He is why I exist and will continue existing. I actually like doing mommy things like being spit up on, peed on, pooped on (yes, like all moms my life for some reason gravitates toward this), performing silly dances to convince a little someone that green beans are delicious and he wants to eat them, soothing a very angry little man to ensure him that I will indeed feed him again. Oh the list goes on. I won't lie because I am very fortunate enough to have such a mellow baby that allows me to take a shower (at mock 1 not 3) everyday as long as he is sitting in his jump-a-roo in the bathroom so he can hear mommy talking. I know moms who are lucky if they get to shower 3 times a week at this stage.

But who am I other than Carsen's-mommy-student-and employee? I'm afraid to admit that going to the gym has fallen by the wayside. I use (and probably still do) love nothing more than popping my iPod in and working up a good sweat. I never felt better and more than enough energy. I'm not overweight, and I have no baby weight to loose (God bless breastfeeding) but I'm soft and not very fit anymore. I'm not really into the beer-drinking-jitter-bugging-all-night kinda girl anymore. I'd rather be at home (maybe have a few, and by few I mean one, beers) with my little boy safely tucked in under my watch. Occasionally I get the bug (haha) to go out and pretend for just one night that I have the stamina I use to. I usually pay for it for several days after the fact now though. Its kinda sad really, I mourn the loss of my old self, but and more than rejoicing in my new self. I guess I  just wish I had some "new mom" friends too. I love, love, love my old friends to bits and pieces, but having someone else to relate a little more too would be nice.

Ok, enough of the "who am I besides a mom" spew. I'll figure it all out in good time. I suppose all new moms go through this phase. I am currently happy as a clam. I got to sleep in, take a 40 minute bath yesterday, drink my coffee before it reached the icy chill of our outside air, clean up, make dinner, and bake cupcakes (don't ask). Oh! And I was able to read a good 1/3 of my newest book on my Kindle. : ) And as for today, I intend on showering, drinking my coffee, and reading yet again. For school kicks back into gear on Wed. Which means I'll be over taken with lab practicals, projects, exams, homework, and really dull reading until the early weeks of summer..........

Ahhh, my morning’s sweet elixir.

That's right. I'm talking about coffee. Every morning at the most ungodly hour my little man is awake and babbling in his crib. A few minutes later the babbling turns into hollers of protest. I some how manage to peel myself from my soft, warm, oh so comfortable bed and stumble into his room. My eyes are still barely open at this point but I some how manage to change Carsen's diaper and button up his jammies straight. We make our way to the kitchen where the Holy Grail awaits my arrival on the counter, my coffee pot. I so look forward to pressing the percolator button and listen. In the process of the brewing coffee Carsen is fed and settled in his jump-a-roo while I make my first cup of the morning.

And let me tell you, there is nothing like the first sip in the early morning. It is practically an out of body experience. As I nurse my first mug of the morning I feel the signs of life sparking in me, and its all down hill from there. As a working-student-new mom you may very well continuously hear about my love affair with coffee through my blogging...... Just sayin.

Oh my goodness. Oh. My. Goodness.

I am a fan of Man vs. Food. Yes, I am a fatty deep down. I love watching the host, Adam Richman, travel the country while stopping at the country’s most popular "stuff-yo-face" restaurants. What a job huh? He also seems to like to stop at the places with the most outrageous eating challenges. Ever. Come on now. A 72 oz steak in Amarillo?

 The Suicide 6 Wings in Brooklyn? (Um, no thanks. The spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's is hot enough for me.) Even a 5-lb. Jumboli Stromboli challenge in our very own Butte, Montana. Here's a clip of Adam and his first attempt at the Suicide 6 Wing thingy.

However, I was watching his Boulder, Colorado episode earlier today. A Mountain Man Pizza? Think about it. Adam ended up stopping at a breakfast joint know as "The Buff'. And I have one word. Saddlebags. Yummmmmmm. This down right delectable breakfast entree is a basic buttermilk pancake with a hearty twist. You get bacon, sausage, or ham and two eggs over easy with it. Nay, IN IT! Your choice of breakfast meat is cooked right in the pancake. Sweet and savory. Yes please dear sir! And to top it off (quite literally) a over easy egg.

 Oh my lordy, lordy. With butter and maple syrup dousing the crem'da'la breakfast, it makes a mouth and tummy more than happy. I've experimented already with this plate, and even at my novice level of cooking they turned out down right inhale-able. I think this will be a family tradition for a holiday morning of some sort. Or just a "What the hay!" occasion. This very well could be a part of everyday in our house.... I kid, I kid.

Christmas in a Pot.

The Christmas season has got to be one of my favorite times of the year. I avoid the malls, shopping in general, like the plauge (online is how its done baby). But the spirit is what gets me. And now with my son I'm a woman obsessed. Decorating in my house has taken on a mind of its own. The tree, exterior lights, finding the perfect stockings for my little family, snow falling, finding the perfect heartfelt gift, baking, and Christmas music. Who can resist!?

One of my favorite things to do is stovetop potpourri. Muuuummmm. This really is Christmas in a pot. It brings back memories of Christmas time when I was a kid, this was one thing my dad would do. And its so simple to do. Orange zest, cranberries, clove, cinnamon sticks, and water. Thats it. Boil it, bring it to a simmer and enjoy. : ) The smell fills my whole house and is just hard to beat. Nothing in a can or a candle holds a flame to it.

I took my son to the, gasp!, the mall to have his picture take with Santa. And gosh darn it do I have the c-u-t-e-s-t kid ever. The smile on his face in the picture is just priceless. It was an experience that I have been looking forward to ever since the Holiday season rolled around. Tis the Season!

 

I'm a Blogger in a Bloggers World.....

My first blog. Ever. No really. I'm 26 years old and just beginning my blogging chronicles. Better late than never right?
I guess I should start with a brief overview of myself. My name is Jess. We'll leave it at that. I'm a 26 year old and a new mom to boot. My son is 6 1/2 months old and the gem of my life. His name is Carsen and my whole world revolves around this tiny being who depends entirely on me for existence. Its a glorious job. One that I would never trade or resign from. Once you join the exclusive club of Mommy hood you never look back.
On top of being a mom I am also a student. I'm pursuing my BSN and am hoping to get my NP in neonatal care. What can I say? I love those babies. : ) And helping, educating, and nurturing people has always been something that I was naturally good at. I've always known that I can't help everyone in the world. But if I could make an impact on just one persons life than maybe everything will make sense......
I am in love with the most wonderful man I have ever had the pleasure to meet. The father of my son, Ryan, is the love of my life. I respect him for so many things it would be impossible to list them all. But one of the things that I just thank God for is how loyal he is to me. I know women who's significant others would throw them under the bus the first chance they get. Not Ryan. No matter if I'm right or wrong. We've got a long road ahead of us, but its a thrilling ride. The kind of ride you just stop and marvel during.
Well, I hope my little blurb has been insightful. More to come this holiday season!